video/performance
Embodied, play, depression, journey, rest, winter, public, land, climate
2022-ongoing

What meaning can I make by choosing to walk, stop, fall into the snow face first and rest there, and then get up and move on?

winter breaks began as a single experiment that quickly turned into an iterative performance piece. The work is active both as a live experience and as a video piece, although each acts in a slightly different way. 

For the live performance, the audience can be as small as one human (my self, the body doing the action), and one camera (smartphone). There may be a second person doing the recording (more on that later). There may be passers-by, or other audience members present in the space, who notice the performance by happenstance. This performance involves consideration of the camera when setting up and reviewing it. However, once the movement has begun, consideration of camera takes a back seat to the embodied experience of clumsily falling into the snow and resting there until it feels “enough,” then getting up, perhaps shaking off some snow, and moving forward. 

The logistics of getting a human body from walking to prone, the moment of snow hitting bare skin, the pause for rest, the consideration of breath, the smell of the ground and the snow that covers it, the acoustics of the world’s sounds from ground-level, the feeling of release and rest, the impulse to stop resting and get up, the logistics of standing, the choice to deal or not deal with snow that may be sticking to glasses, face, hair, clothing, and the continuation of the trajectory, is all considered in the moment. When the performance is over, I move to the camera, often to check the framing and quality of the video capture. The performance may need to be repeated, if the framing of the camera did not meet the unspoken specifications of the piece (these parameters are based on instinct and decided upon in the moment), or if the camera turned off or fell over, or if any other disruption interfered with my intention. When there are multiple iterations that occur because of this, each can be understood as its own performance, but only one will be shared as part of the video series that follows the live performance.

Once the performance is over, the video archive is uploaded to social media (instagram and facebook) and shared with my online community of friends, family members, colleagues, coworkers, collaborators, and the general public. This audience functions in a very different way than the live audience, interacting with the piece through commenting, online “reactions” (such as liking or heart-ing the post), or through discussion of the work with the artist on and off social media. Due to the algorithms of these platforms, and the disparate habits of social media users, some audience members may have been watching the piece from the beginning (February 2022), some may discover it later, some may catch some — but not all — performances, and others may see only one chapter of these iterative actions. Thanks to the capitalist nature of the platforms and their interest in tracking audience statistics, I know that the viewership of these pieces range from a hundred to two hundred thousand per video at the time of this writing. 

After one year of performing the piece and sharing it on social media, some audience members have voiced that they get excited when it snows, anticipating a new iteration of the piece being posted. Some have wondered at how the artist can stand to lie in the snow. Some have posited that it may be beneficial as a skincare practice. Some have wondered at the stamina required to do it so repeatedly. Some have simply asked, why?

The elicitation of empathy is an aspect of the piece that was unexpected but seems to resonates in multiple directions, with some audience members voicing that they feel the “same,” indicating their readings of exhaustion, surrender, and rest in the performance. Some have expressed concern for the artist, pointing out the physical dangers of falling face-first into snow that could hide sharp or damaging objects. Some have imagined themselves in the same position, and reject the presumed temperatures of below 0℃ as uncomfortable and undesirable. Some have compared it to cold-water dips: a practice of immersing one’s body in cold water.

It is a choice to enter, stop, fall clumsily and without grace, rest, keep resting, rest more, get up, shake off snow, and continue on the same path out of the frame. 

• Rather than focusing on the beauty of motion, the project highlights awkward pedestrian movement
• The entering, the resting, and the continuing are all key to the piece. An acknowledgement of past, present, and future are reflected in the three states of the body in the frame
• The rest does not divert the journey, and it does not end it. It is a break, a relaxing, a giving in.
• shaking off the snow that has stuck to my face, clothing, glasses, and skin, is an acknowledgement that the time resting in the snow has affected me, that some actions are needed before moving forward can take place
• By getting up again at the end, I indicate that this is not a death or a surrender, a failure or an indefinite collapse. It is a pause on an ongoing journey
• Unlike Helene Vosters’ work, in which the artist’s body stands in for those who have died in war zones, this piece is not only about the fall, but about the time resting, and the eventual rise and continuance. The artist’s body in this piece stands only for their own experience, not replacing the body of unknown dead, but instead performing its own need for rest in discomfort.
  

It is a choice that I am not wearing a jacket and am not suitably dressed for the weather.

• The consistency of clothing highlights the performative nature of the action
• The unpreparedness combined with the image of a person lying face down in the snow may elicit concern from the viewer for the body in the frame, sparking a layer of empathy as they imagine the temperature of the snow on the exposed skin
• The lack of winter wear disrupts the viewer’s expectations, opening a space for questioning 

It is a choice that the camera shot does not generally move.

• The presence of the camera creates a sense of safety and familiarity for the viewer – this is a performance, and the camera’s presence confirms this.  
• The consistency of the camera shot highlights the iterative nature of the performance 
• The immobility of the camera decreases the focus on the camera as active individual spectator 

It is a choice that the image is recorded vertically (portrait style) rather than horizontally (landscape style). 

• By keeping the camera in a vertical position, the focus is not on the lateral journey but on the moments of rest – the body becomes the subject rather than the landscape itself
• It is an acknowledgement of the form in which this piece is shared with its audience – through Instagram posts during an era of the internet in which this is often preferred to landscape-oriented videos. The shape of the video is the same as the shape of the smartphone which records it
• It speaks to the provisional nature of the recordings, with the portrait-orientation being a signal that this is recorded on a smartphone rather than a video camera

It is a choice to leave the original recorded audio as it is.

• By keeping the original recorded audio, the audience is reminded of the space and time in which the action is taking place 
• Choosing not to mute the audio or add music highlights the context of where the performance is taking place – sounds of traffic, birds, wind, conversations are all recorded and included – the piece does not take place in isolation, but in a specific time and place

It is a choice to vary the lengths of the breaks.

• The varied length of the breaks indicates that it is not some endurance test where the rest lasts for a certain number of seconds, but a pause in a journey that is as long as it needs to be 
• The break lasts for as long as feels correct in the moment – sitting in the discomfort of snow against skin and thin fabric for as long as the specific embodied experience requires 
• The varied length indicates varied rhythms that respond to the context of the moment they are in

It is a choice that it is always my body. 

• No other bodies are being asked to subject themselves to this rest, or this discomfort 
• With this piece I am also exploring my own struggle with overwork and discomfort with stillness